Monday, February 2, 2015

On The Sentimental Journey- 22/1/2015



I love you…
With the love…
I begun the journey
A skeptical journey
What is love?

So I loved her
With the love…
I had read of love
The love so spoken of in that book
A love I was taught in Sunday school

And then I had dreams
With that new chic
Who had just joined my class
Class five, not teenage hood
But in the dream
She turned out a boy!

Well, at least on the inside
So this love, I wrote
It was now in teenage hood
Balls up and hairs all grown
I loved her…

And she loved me back,
Can you imagine?
Only one sad story
“I love you,” she said, “With the love of God.”
God…God…God!??

This sentimental journey
Is a journey of guts
Instincts, guts—go-getter!
Buddies said I was… shy
Ladies said I was… timid
I still liked them

Then with a text
The sexting started on
I wasn’t living sentimentally!
I wasn’t whole!
I thought I would be

One night away
Seven unpicked calls
Kissing and booby-booing
Tongue-racing and…
I couldn’t feel a thing

The top lip felt amazing
The curvature was overwhelming
I turned a nerd
Lunatic, my blind stick was out
Oh God, I don’t know how
To love!

She wanted to talk
Sweet little gentlemanly talk
The manly vibrations of my sweet
Apple- she had never touched one before
Instead I insisted on bear
Fucking!

The condom—I couldn’t buy it
I only played with it as a lad
She couldn’t do it
Or I wasn’t good at my preparation
Game

Then I buried it to family lovers
I was typing—in the cyber
I lodged, you should know these things
I was only eighteen
It made sense
In truth I was loving—writing
I was not loving her

Childhood memories persist
My no erotic small stick inside the small hole—on the ground or
Of a niece
We are ever beastly in every part
Of our growth

But if sticks and holes
Are ever to rule us
We are ever lower than the beasts
That stick—I cut it off
Through a text an eye for an eye
She must have felt bad
The dumping…

Now I don’t know if
I am capable of loving anyone
I had loved with sticks
Perhaps I should try with hearts
But it never works
It’s like the echoes write a big
“Fuck You!”

I shouldn’t adhere to that
This journey still broadens up and grows
Extremities I can never reach
I love quality
I should find one

One admitted her liking an artist—a handsome one
That made me wet my pants
Out of the blue, there could come
Such a star?
Then I was the wolf
And she was with the vampire
It’s all in the sentimental journey

I want a black American I said
My buddy said my bed was gonna need repair
I persisted the hug of a Spanish
I watched that of the Western
It’s all the same
A Kung-fu should race me up
A Zulu should break me up

And I still wonder why these guys
Marry neighbors
I mean in Western
Those asses make you stand!
And the Nyanza buddies teach you the game
I hear the story is the same
In West Africa—Kubuitsile must have it

Then these websites tell me
To write this and that
Vibrators and women
Vibrators for women and
Women for men—replace ‘women’ with ‘girls’
The sentimental journey is no longer sentimental—
It is mean and delinquent

I told her I loved her
She said she never expected that from me
Now what? They think I
Can’t truly love them? Anyone?
I closed her page down
And we are friends who sleep
In the same bed
With lots of saliva not to share
But to selfishly gulp and swallow

She takes lots of water
My lips are dry she thinks
That’s why he can’t kiss me
Truth is, I can’t because I can’t
My dick is hard eroticized
I can’t fuck because I can’t
But I really like her
Perhaps a little kiss can do no harm?
And its morning—10 o’clock
Sounds a weird idea especially
After the whole selfish night
There is always a next time

Then these freaky adventurous
Souls—add ‘beautiful’ souls
Benevolent and a tad tactical
 Athletic—energetic—intelligent
Everything I would want from a girl
A woman of many women
I should break her league

The sentimental journey
And I hear writers—most of them
Take this journey differently
Some taking secrets to the deathbed
Others being ‘Gay in public’
All want to ‘think freely’ alongside infidelities
I am thinking freely now
Women think I want to learn something
When I read a gay writer
This homophobia!

They are suspicious of me
When they notice a lonely love life
But I love everyday
It’s just that the time to
Fuck has never come for me
Everyone nurses their own little addictions you know
They still make up the Sentimental Journey



©Simon21




No comments:

Post a Comment